J’aurais voulu ne pas penser aux heures d’angoisse que je passerais ce soir seul dans ma chambre sans pouvoir m’endormir; je tâchais de me persuader qu’elles n’avaient aucune importance, puisque je les aurais oubliées demain matin, de m’attacher à des idées d’avenir qui auraient dû me conduire comme sur un pont au delà de l’abîme prochain qui m’effrayait. →
I should have liked not to think of the hours of anguish which I should have to spend, that evening, alone in my room, without the possibility of going to sleep: I tried to convince myself that they were of no importance, really, since I should have forgotten them next morning, and to fix my mind on thoughts of the future which would carry me, as on a bridge, across the terrifying abyss that yawned at my feet.